There are practical things you should do and things you should know. Some items apply to every divorce, but not all of them do, so just use those that apply to your own situation. Some are best done before the divorce is even announced, some will be easier before you separate, but all should be done as soon as you can manage.
Mutual acceptance of the divorce. Perhaps the most common source of conflict is when both spouses have not agreed to divorce or at least accepted the idea. Unless you are planning a surprise attack or a sudden departure (a good way to start a war), take time to work on mutual acceptance of the divorce. Starting off on the right foot is the best thing you can do to guide your case toward a smoother more peaceful resolution. Read my article, The Good Divorce.
Mail. Have sensitive mail sent somewhere private—your office, a friend’s address, or get a mailbox at a local mail service center that allows 24 hour access.
Computer files. If you use a shared computer and want some files to be absolutely private, Google “encrypted folders” with the name of your operating system and read some of the articles, or ask a teenager or a techie friend to help you create and use encrypted folders.
Records. While you have the chance, make photocopies of every family financial record you can find as you will need to know about all family assets and debts. If you used one, visit the family accountant and get copies of tax returns and records for the past several years.
Income. If you will need more income after separation, think about ways you can earn it. Think about getting more education or training to prepare for a better job. Think about ways to reduce family costs..
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Elizabeth says
September 15, 2014 at 10:38 amThis article was helpful.
Thanks!
Roxann Jacobson says
October 26, 2014 at 4:19 pmThank you for your help. Wonderful stuff!
Roxann Jacobson
Sharon Berget says
January 7, 2015 at 5:03 pmhelpful
Nadine says
March 14, 2015 at 5:15 amThanks!
Nolo Press Occidental says
March 20, 2015 at 11:12 amWe’re glad we can help.
Katy says
March 29, 2015 at 5:58 amWas given a copy of an old edition of your book, bought the currently edition locally. Thanks.
Chris says
July 12, 2015 at 9:54 pmThis is just what I need to navigate this complicated process.
Beth Bell says
December 8, 2015 at 6:24 pmI am finding the book helpful.
MH says
April 12, 2016 at 2:14 pmIs this checklist different than what is offered in your book?
Nolo Press Occidental says
April 12, 2016 at 6:06 pmThere are links to the checklist on this page in our books, How to Do Your Own Divorce in California, and How to Do Your Own Divorce in Texas, but there is a different checklist called the “After Divorce Checklist” you can only get on the bonus CDs that come with each of those books.
Lucy says
November 6, 2016 at 1:31 amWhy does this have to be the ONLY rebliale source? Oh well, gj!
Nolo Press Occidental says
November 17, 2016 at 9:38 amWe don’t say we are the only reliable source. We say you should only use a reliable source. If you act on information that did not come from a reliable source, you could end up wasting a lot of money and not getting the results you wanted. We’re trying to help people avoid that.
Sherman Smith says
February 16, 2017 at 12:50 pmPlease send me the divorce checklist
Nolo Press Occidental says
February 17, 2017 at 1:25 pmIt gets sent to you automatically when you enter your first name, email address, and the state where you’re getting divorced, in the green form on this page. Did you try that?
Richard G Tait says
September 10, 2017 at 1:15 pmLearned about your guide from a Google search. What an excellent document!
Georgeann Farrar says
December 16, 2017 at 5:47 pmLooking for worksheet?
Nolo Press Occidental says
December 20, 2017 at 2:47 pmhttps://nolotech.com/divorce-forms/divorce-worksheets/
Anne Kwasney says
May 27, 2018 at 9:19 pmhelpful to get started
Angie deLaRiva says
June 1, 2018 at 7:51 pmHope this the form I need to complete to get the 3 page worksheet if not please tell me how to apply.
Nolo Press Occidental says
June 6, 2018 at 10:02 amYes, this is the correct form to use to get your free divorce checklist. If you attempted to sign up for the checklist but didn’t receive it, please let us know.